A Collection of Three Separate Poems.
LOVING YOU
I hope to love you more than I can feel love presently.
I hope to care for you so deeply that you never feel empty.
I hope to understand what you need and how you need it, so you never have a chance to doubt love’s thorough existence.
I hope your smiles are completely full, with no hidden cracks.
I hope you see that you are special.
I hope you never experience trauma.
I hope the only tears you cry are of joy.
I hope you find joy within and without.
I hope that whenever you look at me, you feel safe and secure.
I hope you know that I love you and will never let you feel emptiness.
I’ll keep pouring into you, even if it means I have a little less.
I love you, and I hope you remain whole.
RELEASE
What makes you feel good? Is it feel-good music or tearjerkers, dancing to a tune or crying into your pillow?
When you are enveloped in overwhelming sadness, what do you do?
What is engraved in you that you fall back on? Where does the sadness find its release?
Is it a “who” or a “what”?
Does the sadness get its release, or is it trapped, pushed down, and mixed with momentary moments of happiness, then put into a continuous revolving cycle of happenstance?
Can the container hold enough for a lifetime? Is it strong enough?
Do you have a few happy moments you can play back on repeat? Or do you wait for the next happy moment to swap out the sadness within? Where does the sadness go?
What would you do to find Release?
LONELY GIRL
This page is hopeful; it will make a very dreary situation bright. But I don’t intend to make it bright. It will just be sad words on a bright page.
Have you experienced loneliness before? Has it sat with you your whole life, making you feel like it’s where it’s supposed to be? You have friends and family, but you really don’t have anyone.
How do you express your tears and worries when you’re not expected to have any? How do you say you’re lonely when you have family? I hide my tears because it feels like I shouldn’t have any, but I do.
I love hot tea spiced up with milk and coffee; it warms my body and fills some of the ache.
I don’t think things are going to be the same; I think I’m changed now. I’m going to stop wishing, daydreaming, and wanting. I’m going to start living in the reality that is mine.
I am lonely, and there’s nothing that can be done about it. I’m surrounded by a few people, but I’m really on my own. And it’s okay because my Heavenly Father envelops me, loves me, and completes me. When He deems it fit, He will give me someone earthly who will make it safe and okay for me to be seen and heard. But until then, I’ll be a blank stare. Fate accepted.